I wrote about Josiah's first month and how Addilyn's dealt with the changes this month has brought...Now, for how this Mommy is adjusting.
I really, really love life with two kids. This is what I dreamed of. God made me to be a Mommy. I already find myself dreaming of adding more kids to our family (so all of those of you who have already asked, "Are you done now?" the answer is a definite, complete no way).
I do find myself in those moments of crazy Mommy flash forward(other people do this too, right?)... When I see Addilyn stand in the driveway, telling me her shapes and trying to count to 12 and I start imagining when I'm sitting in the driveway watching her walk up from her first days of school. And, it makes me cry a little. Then, I think of kids I used to babysit going off to college this year and I tear up a little more knowing that all too soon I'm going to be moving my girl into college. And then I look over at our sweet baby who looks so much older than his one month and I know before I blink he'll be as big as Addilyn, then off to school, off to college, married and moved away. And I cry some more. But, all with a big smile on my face. How amazing is it going to be to live those years? How great is it going to be to see my kids grow up and know God (please, oh please)? I'm working really hard on just soaking it all up right now. Soaking up how Addilyn talks, all of Josiah's squeaks and grunts, their love for each other, and how amazing it is to have them both snuggled on my lap. I'm so SO grateful for the gifts God has given me through my family. Even on days when I just want to curl up and cry with them because nothing is making either one happy, I'm thankful for these moments. I'm thankful when my daughter doesn't stop asking questions because she's learning and understanding a little more each day and I'm thankful when all my little guy wants to do is eat and snuggle on my chest. And most of all, I'm thankful for a husband who is willing to work amazingly hard so that I can stay home and not miss a moment of drawing, reading, cleaning up, changing diapers, nursing (SO excited not to have to leave my baby and pump at work this time!!!!), and snuggling.
While all these thankful and great feelings are there and usually at the forefront of my thinking, I'm definitely struggling some with the idea that my kids won't grow up with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins around all the time. I HATE living far away from family but if I think of moving away, I also hate the idea of leaving our friends here. So, we're just waiting for God to tell us what's next and trusting He knows best for our family. WAY easier said than done.
Here's to soaking up these fleeting moments and trusting God for the next ones!
