So, why am I putting this out on the internet? Because most blogs/facebook posts/emails you read are about how wonderful life is, how perfect it is making those of us having bad mom days like the only ones (ok for real, I'm not the only one, right?). As a teacher (especially in special education), it was my job to help parents. To help them know what to do with their kids, to give them parenting advice and give ideas on behavior plans for home. I wrote countless behavior plans every year for students at school (that actually helped.). So, why in the world, can I not figure it out with my own kid? Nothing I do makes those naptime fits stop. Nothing. Nothing I do makes her eat a balanced meal. She's learning how to be sassy and I don't know how much of it to allow because she's just learning and how much of it to stop. It drives me nuts that she thinks saying sorry after sitting in time out is funny, but how to get her to understand it's a big deal to yell at someone or hurt Josiah, I don't know. I feel like I should be better at this. Like I should have the answers. Or at the very least, a clue. But, I don't. Not a single one. Then, throw in baby #2. After you've had one, you should know what to do, right? Well, I certainly thought so. But, nope. I don't. Sleep, for one, is rough with him. Naps virtually nonexistent, night time sleep in small chunks (but last night he slept for a 5 hour chunk!!). Can't get him to take a bottle or paci. He won't lay on the floor to play, meaning he doesn't roll, crawl, or really move at all. He is really good at sitting. ;) I felt like I knew so much more about parenting when I was a teacher, giving advice. Now I know, you've just got to try what you can and be consistent, praying it works. It's not going to work for every kid, or even most. As a special education teacher, I knew every kid was different. It was my job to match their education to their differences. But, as a mom, I'm truly learning the differences in kids from day 1. Very few things have been the same about Addilyn and Josiah, even in pregnancy. She would always move more when loud music was on or when a lot of people were talking. He was completely still during loud noises and moved the most when Addilyn was on my lap or when it was perfectly quiet. Now, she thrives on being around friends, getting out of the house, dancing to loud music and having people over to her house. He loves it outside, nursing, and playing with Addilyn.
When I just had Addilyn, I really didn't understand why moms would say things like "I just need to get away from her for an hour." or talk about how worn out and exhausted they were. Now I understand.
As I'm starting to understand myself, Derrick, and our combined parenting styles and personalities I'm learning a lot. I'm learning that I will push pretty much everything off for a good snuggle with my kids and then will be stressed out that my house is dirty or dinner isn't ready and hot when Derrick gets home (for the record-he has NEVER asked this of me. It's my own impressions of what I was sure I could do as a stay at home mom). I'm learning that those 'evenings away' everyone talks about needing and guilt us into, aren't any good for us. Evenings away are not relaxing. They are stressful. I hate being gone at night(for the record, I didn't really like being out at night pre-kids either. I'm happily a homebody). Having dates (or mom/dad breaks) during the day work much better for us. This is not to say 'dates' aren't enjoyable, they just look different for us. Either after kids go to bed or during the day. We are introverts my nature so going to a busy, crowded, loud restaurant or game night is not a good way to relax. Quiet, non distracting places are better and very necessary. Time to read my Bible daily, sometimes multiple times, is really helpful to my patience and sanity during the day. I'm also trying to learn to pray and trust God with my kids. They aren't perfect, they aren't going to be what I assumed kids are. They are going to be better, more wonderful, and help me get closer to God more than I ever expected.
